


no hope for the future

by sj_daubigne



Category: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Drabble, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-19 23:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1488049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sj_daubigne/pseuds/sj_daubigne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean had learned long ago that life wasn't fair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no hope for the future

Sean had learned long ago that life wasn't fair.

But this was far worse than another move to another town with another school. This was different, something being ripped away before he'd even gotten a chance to have it. A future - no, worse than that,the possibility of a future - he was never going to get.

 _You're seventeen,_ Han had said, the first time he'd actually attempted to make a move, pressing his mouth against the older man's, still high off adrenaline and victory, the night he'd beaten Morimoto.

 _Only for three more months,_ Sean had argued, a little embarrassed and trying to hide it, stung by the rejection, but not burned the way he had feared.

Han had smiled, seeing right through his bluster the way he always did, and replied, _Then we'll talk about it in three months._ And that had been the end of the discussion, the only acknowledgement there ever would be about what might have been.

As much as Sean came across as an idiot sometimes, he wasn't actually stupid. He knew what it meant when Han grinned at him across a room for no reason, when he didn't step away when Sean accidentally-on-purpose stood to close, when any simple, platonic touch lingered a moment too long. And though he never would have admitted it, he had started counting down the days until he turned eighteen, vague thoughts, not even enough to be considered plans, bouncing around his head about what might happen that night.

Of course, now, those were all moot points. So here he was, out with all the other racers on the night before his birthday, glad that no one else knew the significance of the next day. Once upon a time, Sean would have been excited, checking the clock as it made its way towards midnight. Instead he was plastering on the fake smile for everyone else's benefit, covering up the ache in his chest with his bullshit demeanor.

In the weeks since Han's death, the rest of the crew had obviously started to heal, their grief progressing far quicker than Sean's. Once he'd noticed that, he'd started pretending, acting as though it was a dull ache to hear the older man's name, rather than the sharp wound it actually still was. He was beginning to suspect that Twink and Neela had figured out that something was up, but neither of them had brought it up to him, for which he was grateful. They hadn't pushed, and when it became clear that he wanted nothing more from Neela than friendship, she'd taken it with grace, slipping into the role of best friend like shed been made for it.

If his presence wasn't expected - if he wasn't the new D.K., Sean would have snuck off long ago, gone for a drive and wound up at the top of the mountain that Han had taught him to drift on. It was becoming something of a habit, but one that he wasn't particularly interested in breaking.

And if he wasn't here, he wouldn't have to have heard Twinkie talking about some guy who wanted a race. _If I were to race, it'd have to be for something important,_ Han had said to him once, back when he was just starting to worm his way into Sean's heart. He understood that now, the words something he'd like to aspire to, in a world where he didn't have the title he never should have earned.

"Not tonight, Twinkie," he says, throwing out his usual grin even as inside he's grimacing. Especially not tonight.

He turns back to Neela, to finish the conversation they were having, caught completely off-guard when Twink adds, "Said he knew Han."

For one moment, Sean freezes, all the emotions he keeps wrapped up tightly in his chest washing over him for a moment - sadness, anger, guilt, regret - and he can't even breath, the pain is so all-consuming. He forces his lungs to expand, drawing the air into his lungs so that the world can start moving again. Glancing over at his friend, Twinkie must see something in his face, because he continues, "Said Han was family."

Things slow down again, and he can feel the crew's eyes on him, waiting for his answer. There's only one he can give, and not just because it's what they all need him to say. He needs it just as much - probably more - than they do, because he will take any connection to Han he can get at this point. Sean looks over the roof of his car, smiles because it's expected, and nods, managing to get the words out in a steady voice.

"Alright. Let's race."

**Author's Note:**

> This is un-betaed, so any and all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Also, I'm not sure I'm very good with that whole tag thing.


End file.
